Chapter Two, Part Two
The Art of Forgiveness
I Samuel 24-28
Forgiving Series
The previous lesson on Loss is also applicable to expectations.
Young David, the Shepherd boy had trusted King Saul as he grew from boy to man in King Saul’s palace. David didn’t do anything to cause Saul to turn on him, but Saul did consider David his enemy after the Prophet Samuel anointed David to be the next King of Israel.
I have to wonder…didn’t Saul even consider the anointing referred to the time after he died?
Scripture doesn’t give any indication that Saul considered the timing related to David becoming King over Israel. Because of that, Saul’s expectation was that David would overthrow him and oust him as King.
So, Saul turned on David.
As a boy, David had looked up to King Saul. He saw Saul as God’s anointed King over Israel. David’s expectation was that he could trust Saul. That’s why David was so hurt when Saul sought to kill him.
In addition, David’s expectation was NOT to oust Saul as king. David was praying, growing, and waiting on God’s timing.
When we love and trust someone, we don’t generally expect them to send an army of men to hunt us down and kill us. David trusted Saul and he didn’t expect Saul to be his enemy.
Forgiving someone we thought we could trust is especially difficult, because we don’t expect to be hurt by them.
That was my problem as a young pastor’s wife. I didn’t intentionally hurt anyone, and I didn’t expect anyone to hurt me. I was completely unaware that when I was asked by a group of women to teach a class, it would cause a problem. But it did.
The issue came up when a small group of women decided to break off from the larger group and start a new class. They asked me to teach the small group of six women. I was thrilled and excited about the new class.
Little did I know that the woman who was teaching the large group was furious that I took six of HER students away. When she confronted me about what I did, I tried to tell her they asked me. I explained that I did not initiate the new class. She all but called me a liar.
I was crushed.
She wouldn’t even hear my side of the story.
Being young and inexperienced, I backed out and told the group I would not teach. I was very hurt. It took time, but my dad helped me to understand how to forgive the teacher.
Today if someone approached me in the same way, I pray to make sure it is God calling me to teach that class. If God said yes, HIS yes would be my yes. Then, if she approached to tell me what I did was inappropriate, I would openly tell her I forgive her, and I would tell her it’s unfortunate that she doesn’t support the new group. I would also kindly advise her that God opened the door and only God can close the door.
Today, my expectation would be focused on what God wants. That, folks is the difference between being 23 and 68 years old.
MY expectations have changed.
From the beginning, I ask God what to do.
Once I’ve prayed and I’m satisfied that God gave me the green light, I will move forward. If others were upset, I might be disappointed, but I would forgive them and move on. I would turn the matter over to God.
BUT…I’ve been through that same scenario (or something very similar) numerous times in my life. Coming to a point of understanding my expectations, the expectations of others, and God’s expectations took time and practice.
I am not exactly the same person I was when I was 23 years old.
Thankfully, my expectations have changed.
I kind of expect there to be problems in the world.
I expect push-back from others.
But, I also expect God to speak clearly to me when He is opening a door for me.
Listening to God is the key.
Today’s Spiritual Practice is: Listen to God
If you’re not sure about your expectations and God’s expectations, spend time listening to God. Ask God what needs to be done. Then move forward knowing God is backing you.
In God, Deborah
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