Series: Renewal
Caption: Listen..what does God have for you?
Psalm 119:105 ESV
I learned the hard way years ago not to listen to what other people say or think I should do. The lesson was a hard lesson I’ve had to live with for fifty years now.
I no longer beat myself up about it, but I do keep it close as a reminder.
Psalm 119:105 tells us, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
At one point in my life I read that scripture and the emphasis was on “word” and “my path”. While there isn’t anything wrong about that, what I learned is to make “Your” the emphasis.
Allow me to explain…
I had a very very good friend from junior high school through college. Not only did we have a lot in common, we really relied on each other.
We had so much fun when we were together!
We often laughed so hard we would collapse after a while. He was without a doubt one of the best friends I’ve had in my life.
After I turned twenty I met a fellow who did not like my friend. Looking back I’d say he was jealous as much as anything because we had so much history.
We were the best of friends. We both dated other people but we never dated each other.
I fell for the fellow I met and after a while he told me to end my friendship with my life-long buddy.
I cried and I pleaded explaining that we were best friends but we had never dated.
The fellow stood fast and he told me to end the friendship.
I loved him and so I complied.
I did not make a scene but gradually I let my buddy go.
I went on about my life, got married, had children, and served in several churches. I never forgot about my buddy.
Through the years from time to time I would remember him and I would wonder how he was doing. I had moved far away from my childhood home and I did not have any idea how to track him down.
Back then we didn’t have the internet. About the only way we had to find someone was through a telephone book or by asking other people.
I continued to ask if anyone knew how to get in touch with him but no one knew the answer. He was a gifted actor (in college acting class I realized just how gifted he was) so I thought maybe he had moved to New York or L.A.
Then sometime after I turned fifty I received information by mail about my classmates. The list told where they lived. I was disappointed to find he was not on the list. I had hoped to find an address so I could reconnect, but there was no listing for him. On the last page I found his name listed in the obituaries.
I made inquiries from other classmates and the details they knew were sketchy.
I was crushed.
In addition to that, I was really mad at myself.
The relationship with the other fellow had ended and now I found out my buddy was gone.
It was too late for me to make amends.
The lesson for me was a hard lesson.
Another person…no matter who they are cannot light our path. Only God can light our path. When we made decisions, major or minor we need to look to God and ask God to show us the way.
From that time until now, when I have a major decision to make, especially when it involves relationships I pray about it and I wait.
I ask God to light my path and show me the way.
I’m really clear when I pray and asking God to show me the way. I close out the other noise and I wait to hear what God wants. I learned the hard way that only God sees the big picture.
Only God knows the future.
God alone is God.
So…one of the places my buddy and I used to go to was church. We were teenagers and I absolutely can’t say we were really good in church (a lot of notes were passed) but we did go to church.
Now, fifty years later I have hope that one day I will see my buddy again.
This time, when we meet we will be able to laugh and sing loudly and run through fields of clover.
Today, when I remember my buddy, I hope…
Spiritual Practice: God’s Light
Practice listening and watching for a God’s light in your life. Ask the Spirit to teach you how to hear clearly. Be patient. God will most certainly answer your prayer.
In God, Deborah
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