Series: Call Me
Psalm 91:4-5 ESV
Luke 1:37 MSG
While scripture holds many promises, the words we find in Psalm 91:4-5 offer a words of great promise and hope.
The unnamed author in Psalm 91:4-5 tells us:
“He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.”
There are days when I am reminded I am my own worst enemy.
I think that’s because I hate making mistakes, and it seems to me that I make a LOT of mistakes!
Even though I know man was not created to be perfect, I often envision myself as being the ultimate in “not perfect” people.
My greatest problem is my memory. I’ve been told that an illness I had when I was young would impact my ability to do certain things. My parents were told my brain would be damaged.
So, even though I do not have dementia I have never been able to remember details.
Tests for me that required a lot of memorization were nearly impossible. I studied twice as long as others my age and while I made the honor roll I never had straight A’s.
In Seminary Hebrew Grammar was mostly memorization and even though I barely passed the class, I did pass. When I went to see the registrar he assured me that my GPA was high enough that the D would barely impact my grades. He was right.
It was difficult for me to resolve how hard I worked to memorize the rules of Hebrew Grammar and how low my grade was in the end.
Even though that was not something I could work hard enough to overcome, I still punished myself for not doing better.
The same is true many years later.
When I fail to remember something I immediately get so upset I have an upset stomach. I’m always so surprised when I fail to remember facts and figures on one end but I do not fail to remember my mistakes!
I do know that guilt is “it’s own animal” and especially in my case it seems to “hang on tight”.
Long after I’ve forgotten what I forgot I still remember I forgot something.
At the same time I try to remind myself that the prognosis of what my brain could do is not nearly as bad as what it can do.
Even though I cannot remember details, I can think. I can master concepts. I can understand logic. I can reason. I can have a degree from a major university. I can obtain a degree from a notable Seminary even though it’s a seven year program that requires 144 graduate level hours.
I remind myself that God has blessed me.
But that’s not all God does. God is ultimately my Savior. See, Psalm 91:4-5 saves me from myself.
I am reminded by the Psalm that even though I forget things I should remember and I get really mad at myself for “messing up” God covers me tightly with His wings. A pinion is the outer part of a birds wings that enable the bird to fly well.
When the pinions on the wing are closed I envision they hold on tightly to its babies. When God holds us and wraps His pinions around us we are “safe”.
We find refuge and we feel secure.
God is faithful to shield us from danger (which can definitely include our broken brain parts). God knows we all have broken parts and God especially protects us when we feel like we’ve failed. God does not allow us to collapse (buckle) under the weight of our despair.
We do not need to fear when night comes. Even in the dark as we sleep, God sends Angels to watch over us. I think that’s why God gave me the ability to sense when Angels are nearby. There have been times in my life I’ve seen Angels. I do not know if they are a vision of an Angel, or an Angel but I know God can do anything. I’ve said for years, “I’m pretty sure God is God and God can do anything”.
God stands ready to protect us at night.
God also shields us from flying arrows by day.
Those arrows may be manifested in the form of gossip, or fear, or even (in my case) our own guilt. In my case that means when I am punishing myself God’s arrows can shield me from punishing myself.
Luke 1:37 says, “Nothing, you see, is impossible with God.”
When the enemy surrounds us God protects us and hold us close by His wings. Even when the enemy we face is ourselves…God protects.
There is absolutely nothing God cannot do.
Spiritual Practice: Sit
Sit with God and experience what it’s like to be protected by the wings of God.
In God, Deborah
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