Series: Renewal
Proverbs 23:6-7 ESV
I once knew a woman who struggled to deal with guarding herself.
Eventually she had the opportunity to learn more about why she struggled.
She was given the opportunity to take several personality tests that revealed why she struggled.
Most of my results were not a surprise to her, however one issue came to light that she hadn’t considered to be a problem.
Her tests showed she was far too trusting of others.
At first she wondered why she needed to guard herself and be mindful of others. Her response was telling. She wasn’t even aware of the consequences of being too trusting.
She realized it’s difficult for her to beware of others because she had pretty much been able to trust others as a child. In one sense she realized she’d been living in a bubble.
Proverbs 23:6-7 tells us, “Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy; do not desire his delicacies,
for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you!”
Even after she was told there are people who cannot be trusted, it was difficult (and very disheartening) for her to realize she cannot trust others.
In order to rectify the problem she started looking for ways to deal with the issue. First, she formed a support group of people she absolutely could trust and rely on.
Second, she started praying about it. She asked God to have the Spirit make it obvious when someone near her could not be trusted. God has honored that request.
Still, even with a plan in place she felt unsettled because she really wanted to love every person.
Solomon’s words in Proverbs 23 helped her.
Being aware when someone near her could not be trusted did not mean she couldn’t love like God wanted her to love. It simple meant as she was loving them she needed to be mindful that there are people in this world who do not regard God when they make decisions.
They do not revere God.
They do not live for God because they only live for themselves. The man King Solomon describes was a selfish man. He wanted what he wanted and he was constantly calculating how he could get what he wanted.
He had no regard for what others needed or wanted.
He did not ask God for direction.
He only thought of himself.
And according to Solomon…herein lies a clue. All the while when he may appear to be charming and funny on the outside, but he/she is inwardly thinking how he can manipulate others to get what he wants.
Psychologists may refer to behavior like that as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It sure seems like it’s somewhat common in our world today. In my mind that is a great concern for our culture. That’s because it’s counter cultural to everything God wants for us.
From the beginning of scripture it’s clear that God created us to be a community…a team.
When I think of a team I think of my children. I see us as a team. While some of us are related by blood, others have joined our team and they are just as much a part of us as the original team. It’s interesting and miraculous how God added wonderful perfect members to our team. They are as much a part of us as the original team. Not only do they fit in, they bring a wealth of knowledge and love to the team.
They are on the opposite end of the spectrum of narcissism.
Because we are human the team isn’t perfect, but they understand forgiveness. Forgiveness, in particular God’s forgiveness is always available to us.
I used to think forgiveness was difficult because I was unable to ‘conjure up’ forgiving someone. Through the years God has been teaching me I do not need to think it and create forgiveness myself. That’s because God is the creator. We can ask God to give us divine love that will enable us to really forgive. We can ask God to fill us with love that will enable us to forgive, and God freely gives it. It’s one of those things that we can be assured that God will give freely.
Knowing that brings great comfort. It’s one of the best ways to combat narcissism in the world. Plus, when we practice team building and focus on the strength of the team formed through God, we experience a strength and comfort beyond anything we can imagine.
That was/is God’s intention for family. Even though we hurt and suffer, we do not suffer alone. Nearly ten years ago (just shy a few months) a few members of my team suffered a painful life altering event. I’ll never forget the phone call I received that day. Part of our team needed support and comfort. The team came together and from the north, south, east and west they traveled to give support to the team members who needed support.
We were a team. We are a team. We love and support each other regardless of what the world throws at us. The team (family) is the best of the best of what God created from love.
God had/has a dream that teams (families) will work together. It’s hard work. It’s never easy. But when a team works together through God’s love it can make all the difference.
We can stand together through God to offer support.
Spiritual Practice: Your Team
Work with your team through God’s love to give support. If your family isn’t a team ask God to bring your team together.
In God, Deborah